Sarah El-Kaffel

People make fun of me. They think I'm idiot.

Well, I agree. But,I think they are idiots too.

One thing we are different about at this point, is the way how I see myself idiot through their eyes  and the way they see me idiot and the reason I think they're idiots for.

Starting by their perspective:

I'm idiot for them because  I care too much, I cry too much, they feel I'm weak , they think they can make my heart broken very easiley, I keep asking for forgivness even for mistakes I didn't make, I give my all till I feel empty inside, I stay alone, I don't study well when I'm upset, they can affect me with the simplest acts, I write sad things, they think I have no refuge but them being pleased to me.

Now, my own perspective:

I see myself idiot for one only reason which is giving them the chance to think I'm that way.
and guess what? Let me tell you why you're IDIOTS people!
I care too much because I'm tender.
I cry too much because it's healthy.
I pretend being weak to know true from fake friends around.
Each time I get a broken heart, I fix it and blend it. AGAIN AND AGAIN ( I don't get bored don't worry)
I ask for forgiveness because Allah is ghafur and rahim.
I give my all because I'm genorous.
I stay alone because I'm a thinker.
I don't study well when I'm upset because I study well when I'm very upset.
You don't affect me with your silly acts because I'm laughing at your poor minds deep inside.
I write sad things because I believe that arts never come from happiness.
Oh and about REFUGE : I pray, I read books, I listen to Quran, I code, I write, I paint , I smile, I thank my GOD for being who I'm. and I smile all the time, I smile.

AND NOW, WHO's the idiot hah? TELL ME. :)

Salam alaykom :D

I'm baaack after a while, well maybe a little bit long but never mind.
I cam with a new DIY and this time it's about jewleries ladies, YES!

So I won't keep talking too much, let's show you what I made lately in few simple tips.

#Part 8: My Old best friend.

#Part 7: My Old best friend.

Now, I'm looking at the mirror and seriously , I'm not recognizing myself anymore. All what am sure about is that " it's because of you". 
You made us strangers and Icouldn't find the lost me between all your hidden meanings , your mestirious looks , your creepy smile, your secret whisperers. 
I can't take it any longer. Why don't you just leave me the hell alone , living in peace. I'm worth it..

and now! now , you'r asking me to replace you because things change? am i dreaming? i still do remember when you promised that even if the whole wrold change , the entire world stand against us , we won't change , we willl be toghether for ever , us against the world, us against them all. why now? why try to change me now!
I must be blind , i'm must be deeply caring , i must be myself-destroyer for still beleiving that you will feel me again and you'll put that simle on my face which i missed for so long.
one more thing , i wish that you could read this and know that despite of all the broken promises , i won't ever forget a single detail about you , a single moment i had next to you , a single tear i dropped for you , a single song of yours which made me crying up oceans and oceans.
I won't give up on you, i won't forget you & and i'll enjoy this pain because it belongs to you.

Well, I'm wondering why am iIcalling you " my old best friend" while I still consider you as the closest person to my heart even if I'm not showing it.
Maybe life taugh me to behave this way , especially after all what I went through because of hardly caring you.
I didn't regret any try from me to get you back , neither a tear I dropped for you , even my broken heart , it still believe that you are worth it.
am I waiting for illusion or someday I'll get the old you?

I'm missing you..